Hey, I’m Gay!
Have you ever wanted to just stand up on the top of a building in the middle of town and scream out to everyone that you’re gay?
I was twenty six before I managed to figure out that I liked girls not boys. It was like I was hit over the head with a baseball bat once all the pieces came together. Literally, I was stunned upon the realization then giddy with excitement because I finally understood that I wasn’t crazy and that you don’t have to know your sexual orientation the second you hit puberty! I always heard about lesbians knowing they were gay when they were like 10. I never heard of Lesbians figuring it out when they were in their 20s. I was so relieved.
I have never been happier in my life now that my secret (that I didn’t even know) was out. I am still very naïve about a lot of the culture and other peoples perception of gays. The only negative thing I went through so far was I found an old friend on Facebook (which proudly displays my sexual orientation) and she asked me “so when did you turn funny”. I was hurt by that. But, she seems to have amounted to nothing so I have to give her a break for being a little short a light bulb right?
I know my girlfriend loves me…
I know my girlfriend loves me because she drags me kicking and screaming to the gym everyday and harasses me about smoking until the hair on my body stands up straight and starts to curl!
She must love me because she forces me to eat whole wheat’s instead of whites, and lets me suffer being hungry instead of allowing me to take a bite of that delicious rich chocolate bar.
I really know she loves me when she empties my hand of sugary candies and replaces them with dried fruit then jiggles my underarm fat with a sweet smile.
My girlfriend loves me so much, that every night she puts the toothbrush in my hand, loaded with toothpaste, and watches with a grin as I stand over the sink brushing like I’m loving every stroke.
Really, she does love me, and proves it to me all the time.
I really love her too. I listen with a smile for all her requests.
But what a relief when we have a day apart! I eat pounds of chocolate, handfuls of candy; I stay in bed or on the couch all day, don’t even think about brushing my teeth, and jiggle my own fat with pride!
We have a wonderful understanding.
XO
